Relationships

It is almost two weeks since I came back from a volunteer work in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. It was a fulfilling journey; God manifested Himself through other people for the whole duration of the experience. He showed us the good and bad side of the place; He sent angels to lead us. He pulled us through. But apart from the divine, I realized something. In relationships, depending on avenues, time spent may not be time well-spent, or may be time well-spent.

Before I went on my trip, a group was created using the Whatsapp platform to communicate with the people who also volunteered for the event. In March of this year, this group chat was born. It has been labeled as a 24-hour chatroom because of the unceasing beeping of our phones from people conversing all over the globe. It has reached its maximum capacity of 50 participants; twenty or less are actively engaged.

It is a common conception, especially of the traditionalist and conservative, that a relationship that sprung from and developed on the internet is a superficial type. The foundation is weak and has the tendency to crumble. We have been communicating for almost everyday, yet when we finally met face-to-face in Rio last July, our connection was dissolved by some unknown formula. It remained on the surface level; there was not an attempt to level it up. Or at least that was what I felt. I am one to blame, to be honest. I was not motivated to extend the friendship, neither was I inspired to invest personal time. Constant virtual communication failed to go past that thin boundary between an acquaintance and a friend for keeps. We met and talked and listened. That was all.

My work as a volunteer was to man the train station at Campo Grande SuperVia in Rio. I worked with a group of fellow volunteers. We greeted pilgrims with our biggest smile and most sparkling positivism. We shared some moments of hysteria, our way of expressing hospitality and warmth towards our fellow volunteers and pilgrims who came by the station. Sometimes the train was packed. Sometimes it was not. During our free time, while waiting for participants to board or alight the train, I turned to the people composing our group and talked to them. Some of them did not speak English. Some just smiled and stared helplessly at me and at others who might be able to translate. I used hand gestures to send my messages across. Google Translate was a sympathetic tool. Good thing laughter was a universal language.

We drowned ourselves in music. We sang and played air instruments, pretended we were in a concert hall, thus thanking everyone who had 'come to see the show'. We froze the moments. We took mental pictures. We laughed till we cried. We cried till we said goodbye.

It takes years to get to know a person fully, and it takes a minute to know if that person is worth-knowing. It takes a million words to develop a relationship. And actions. And laughter. And some conversation we are more comfortable sharing in person, because we are interested to witness first-hand the other party’s reaction. Some memories are lasting and have left an imprint in my heart. Some are fleeting they barely touched my face. Some are tattooed in my memory; some have been swept away like the waves clearing the sentimental words traced by a finger on the shore of the Copacabana beach. Some are chillingly winter and warmly summer. Some are curly innocent and some are a faithful goodbye.

Relationships can be eternal; they permanently reside in the depths of our hearts, whether they are continued or broken. They may be founded on good conversation and sincerest personal contacts. Some interactions are short and are not accentuated by words, but despite their brief attribute, they linger persistently. They sliced sharply onto the most concealed part of my heart, leaving me altered for the rest of my life. I have learned to clear myself of clutter, emphasizing on the most valuable, but not totally forgetting, the not-so. I am learning to grasp the tangible, to reminisce the facts, to trust God with the future. The traditionalists and the conservatives advocate the simplest of truth. Personal touch weighs more than a dozen of internet connection. I am learning to refocus my time. To be totally present where I need to be. Relationship is where I am. It is where my heart is. It helps me find my way home.