The Mother of All Virtues

It is easier said than done.

Hypocrisy may be too harsh a word, but admittedly, I might have been a quarter of an inch close to it. I consider myself a disciple of the Word, yet I faltered. Just when I was given the chance to prove my worth, I failed. The human side of me forces its way out, succumbing me to my vulnerability. Excuses? Yeah, I believe so.

I read somewhere a long time ago that as children of God, we have been equipped with God-like virtues that enable us to denounce sin. Despite my gifts, my will-power is stronger than my intellect. I cave too easily.

To cut the story short, I defied, we argued. My own decision prevailed. But there's a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that what I did injured a relationship, and what I was fighting for is of unworthy logic. My conscience was knocking; I slammed the door shut.

I spoke to my mom about the heated argument, and though she regretted her chiding the next day and apologized to me, she highlighted that I should have let humility influence my way of handling it. I am a soldier of Mary, I know my protocol, but at that moment when I was at the verge of spouting slurs and my level of tolerance hastily rising to the brim, I turned my back at my vows. Sigh, my mom is right.

In this temporal world where personal satisfaction is the primary goal of living, I failed to exercise the basic idea of noble service. God served all the days of His life, and here I am, an occasional disciple of His teachings. I was given the chance to introduce His presence in me, but I forgot humility. I won. I lost. And now guilt has seized me.

Connected and Useful

I was walking home today, feeling low and depressed. With my ipod vociferously singing in my ears, I traversed the path amidst this huge pile of humongous trees that are perfectly aligned by the road side. I looked up and felt the gush of wind slightly kissing my cheeks. The sun was blazing hot, but the leaves of the trees guarded me from the pigment-causing rays of the raging sun. I was astounded. Everything was an orchestra, mastered by God in all His humility. But there I was, feeling low. I was ashamed.

Early morning on my way to work I saw a crow draggingly flapping its wings, attempting to ascend despite the heavy load in between its beak. It found a road-killed animal, salivated over its seized meal, picked the cadaver up and flew effortfully. Its scavenging made me cringe. Only now that I realized, while typing this blog, that something positive permeates through this despicable action. Nothing in the world is wasted. Lives, even decaying physicality, are purposeful. Up to the very end, we still can contribute. Like the dead animal's role to the crow.

I had been consumed by the thought that what I do is unhelpful. I was feeling wasted, forgetful of the fact that everything God created is uniquely significant. And God is wise. He hid realizations in nature. All we, or specifically I, need to do is to be completely open to everything, and the answers will come as swift as a thief in the night to steal doubts. I'm learning.

I'm raising my glass to Pink, for being wrong in the right way. Fulfillment is within reach.  :)

Two ways. Two words.

There are two ways to look at things: positively and let all bright and shimmer, and negatively that even the color yellow flickers black.

There are two sides on each coin; two ways on each road. I can be kind and brutal, loveless but full of love. I can opt to laugh but implicitly aching. I can cry joyfully.

Some have not been given what is due them. I expected a glimpse of happiness but am exposed to the very definition of it. Sometimes all it takes is for us to close our eyes, open our senses to the well-endowed reality that has been intricately laid before us. Everyone deserves to be appreciated. Appreciate life. Appreciate God.

I go home nightly with the moon lighting up my way. I can choose to be grateful for the generosity of its moon beam, instead of dawdling in thought on the absence of the sun. Positivity is workable. It starts from breathing deeply and thanking God for the air that passes the delicate nostrils, the very reason we live. It continues to the bed for reaching it safely, until the closure of the eyes and feeling the soft pillow that awaits to drive our dreams. God is good, and the primary way of reciprocation is by thanking Him.

Thank You. :)

Home

Some relationships end too soon, too bitterly. My April was a headache. It severed a prospective, strong friendship. But I am glad that redemption is finally occurring.

Endurance is a virtue, along with patience and resilience. It was an exodus of emotional battle and cold war, and I expanded patience for pragmatic concerns. But recent happenings forced me to make an aggressive decision, one that is beneficial to the majority including myself. I now realize that decisions seem right when peace descends after arriving at one. And now it feels like home.

According to the World Book of Happiness, it matters not if income is lower than the previous one, so long as basic necessities are met by that limited funds, as significant increase in salary may have a minimal rise on the happiness graph. Happiness is gained not from material things but from relationships built. I will shell out more than what I used to, the trip will be longer, waking hours earlier, but friends to share worthwhile memories will turn every penny into an investment. They say we gain some, we lose some. But I say we lose some, we gain a lot. At the end of the day, relationships founded on trust equates to happiness not every nickel saved can even account for. The sum is peace of mind. And the finished product? With delicate aroma that entices the sensitive olfactory organs, freshly baked 'home'. And I am. :)